I was having a regular Tuesday morning the other day. Zach was working from home. Kids were running wild downstairs and playing. It was cold and Lucy didn’t have school, so we stayed in for the early part of the day. It was getting up to 10:30 and they seemed like they were starting to fight and get louder. I decided it was time to get them out at least for a little bit. The list of the regular spots ran through my mind. Peter was looking like he would nap early, so I decided to stay close to home. I drove to a park near me called Cisco Park. It has an open soccer field with a path around it. There’s a pond that usually has ducks and geese. There is also a playground with two playlets and two sets of swings. We’ve been there many times.

We parked closer to the pond side. I grabbed my car keys and my phone out of my bag. I set up the stroller for Peter and got the other two out. Coats on and we were set. 

We meandered around the pond and shouted our hellos at the ducks and geese. It was mostly geese. Loud honks filled the air and Peter shouted back excitedly. There were a few other people walking around, but not many. After Lucy begged for the fifth time to make our way to the playground, we hopped on the path and walked over. 

At about 11am, I parked the stroller by the fence and off they went. We were the only ones there for a short time and then three other Moms with children arrived. I tended to Peter, helping him along as he tried to climb. Lucy and Zachary played with the other children and I kept one eye on them.

It was a typical playground experience for us. 

After a half hour at the playground, Peter began digging his hands in the wood chips and throwing them everywhere. His hands were freezing (and so were mine) and he looked tired, so I decided to wrap it up. 

“Lucy and Zachary,” I shouted. “Let’s go.”

They stopped what they were doing right away and ran to me.

LOL. I got you. After 4 or 5 minutes of light threats and begging on my part, Lucy and Zachary followed me and Peter.

We hopped back on the path and headed towards the car. The parking lot was to our right. Lucy and Zachary laughed and playfully shoved each other as we walked.

I could see the car ahead. I took my keys out of my pocket to do the remote start to get things heated up. 

“That’s weird,” I thought. “The remote start won’t work.”

I continued walking and we made it to the car. I opened Peter’s side, the driver’s side. I got him settled in and walked the other two over to the passenger side. 

I pressed the button on the handle of the passenger side to let Lucy and Zachary in and that’s when I noticed. 

Glass. Everywhere on the ground. Shards of it hanging off the front passenger side window. Piles of it in the front passenger seat. Pieces of it in the back seat on the floor. 

What the heck. 

My innocent ridiculous mind first thought, oh something must have hit my window, like a rock or something. It didn’t even dawn on me right away that my car was broken into. 

I stayed calm as I wracked my brain. The kids asked why our window was broken and I explained that a bad person broke it, but we are safe and the person is gone. 

My first thought was to drive away and get my kids out of this situation. I called my Mom.

“Call the police,” she urged. She also said she would be right over to sit with me. 

Duh, call the police! Why was that not my first instinct? Something like this had never happened to me. I grew up just within the Philadelphia city limits in the Northwest section and now I live just outside the city limits. I know how to be careful, I know to be self aware. I know not to leave anything visible in the car no matter where I am. At least, I thought I knew that. On this particular day, I guess I forgot. I don’t know what I was thinking, but my lack of thought was a huge detriment. 

As I searched the car to make sure nothing was taken, it hit me that I never put my backpack and purse in the stroller like I intended to. They were on the front seat, in plain view. WTF KATE.

A small Vera Bradley backpack with hats and gloves in it for the kids and a bright red Frances Valentine handbag. A BRIGHT RED BAG. A huge target. It had my wallet with my ID and credit card, my house keys, and my AirPods. Shit. My house keys. 

I called Zach and quickly explained what happened and told him to call and cancel the credit card.

I called the police. Just before they pulled up, my Mom pulled up. I felt safe having my Mom with me. I didn’t know if the creep who did it was still lurking or what. I don’t know how these criminals work. It was 11:30 in the morning. I thought bad guys only came out later in the day.  I felt so anxious and stupid, but tried to maintain my cool for the kids. They were happily chattering in their car seats. There were people around but nobody asked anything or seemed concerned so I guessed nobody was a witness.

The policeman pulled up. He was very kind and took all of my information. I told him what was missing. He advised me to cancel credit cars, which Zach was already taking care of at home. He told me to check my statements right away to see if they used it yet. He gave me his card and said to call him anytime if I think of anything else.

There was nothing else to say. It was a routine smash and grab. I was the victim of a crime. I’m realistic and I know I will most likely never get any of it back. 

I thanked him and I thanked my Mom.

I drove home defeated. The cold wind that blew in from the shattered window burned my right cheek. The giant shards of glass shifted on the passenger seat. The sound of the glass was a reminder that I had failed. I failed my kids that day. I cried a little bit.

I was pissed at whoever did it. But, I had a feeling of understanding. Who knows what their situation is. They could have been on drugs, could have been a lost teen with no family who just did bad shit because they felt like it. There are so many sad scenarios. I didn’t have control over that person who did this to us, but I had control over my reaction.

I was more pissed at myself. I’m a stay at home Mom. I am with my kids all the time and I take them places by myself a lot. I am their sole source of safety when we are out. I put them in danger. Not direct danger, but like secondary danger.

What if they had run ahead of me to the car at the moment the person was smashing the window? What if the person who did it had a gun and we came upon them? There were a lot of what ifs that ran through my head. I know what to do and I got lazy. I am the one to blame here. I’ve been lucky to not have anything like this happen to me personally yet, especially with the kids with me. 

When I was growing up, we had a guy who cased our property for a few years. He had broken into the cars a few times. My Mom opened the door one morning and the guy was hanging out of her car. He saw her and ran. But the rest of us were upstairs. We even caught him on camera once walking right up our driveway. Those incidents taught me from a young age just to be aware. Be vigilant that not everyone is good in this world and if you’re careful, you can be safe.

I know crime has been on the rise in our area but you always see stuff on the news and think, nah, that’ll never happen to me. But why do I think like that? Because I’ve been lucky. We’re no special exception. We’re human! Every day we wake up, there’s a chance something horrible can happen to us. Grim, I know. I told you, I’m angry.

This day was a harsh reminder that these are desperate times for people. Doesn’t matter where you are or who you are, bad stuff can happen. And as bleak as that sounds, you always have to carry that thought in the back of your head. You have to always be smart and a little bit on edge, especially when you have a gaggle of kids with you.

I like to believe that at the core, humans are basically good, but Tuesday messed with my head. I’m angry at the system, the society, that is making people so desperate that they feel they have to smash the window of a Minivan in a playground parking lot at 11am on a Tuesday. I can’t take my kids out on a pretty day without the worry of having our stuff stolen or God forbid one of us being injured by a stranger.

The most worrisome thing was they got my ID AND house key. The one day I have my house key on me. When Zach works from home, I hardly ever bring my house key (probably also a bad habit) because he’s home to let us in! 

We’re lucky enough to have a contractor as a family friend. I called him and he was able to send out one of his guys to change our locks that day. That gave me some peace of mind that night. But my photo ID with my DOB and address, it’s out there in someone’s hands. But, let’s be real, with internet scams and hackers, other people probably have my stuff too. I have been the victim of identity theft before via the internet. I’ve had people apply for unemployment in my name. 

I’m hoping the criminal was some punk teenaged kid who saw an opportunity and took the $8 in cash and trashed the rest of the wallet. But who knows. I put fraud alerts out in case anyone tries anything. 

We took all the necessary steps and I feel at ease knowing how quickly we acted. I’m glad Zach was working from home that day. I felt so frazzled and shook up when I got home that he took care of a lot of the phone calls we needed to make.

The window was fixed the next day by Safelite in Willow Grove. It was my first time using them and they were great. They got us in for the early morning, called and made the insurance claim for us, and it was fixed in an hour. I know I sound like an infomercial, but they were really nice. Safelite repair, Satellite replace! 

So for now, I’ll live on edge. I’ll live on edge and be extra vigilant when we’re out. I know I’ll feel calm again soon, but I’ll always remember to be vigilant. I know I sound like a whiny privileged kid. Wahh, my $8, my personalized AirPods and my sense of safety were stolen. Meanwhile, people live in complete fear that their lives will be stolen. It stinks to have this happen around the holidays too. It’s a time meant for hope and love and I’m angry at the world and myself. But at least I get to be angry in the safety of my home with my kids and husband. I feel bad my husband is taking the brunt of the self loathing. 

I feel violated by the stranger who disrespected me and my children and possibly endangered every other little family at that playground that day. We all have to live with a bit of a healthy fear anywhere we go. 

I would feel different if I was by myself. But my babies were with me. My babies believe the world to be a magical, happy place because that’s what Zach and I have created at home and our families have created for them. That’s what I try to show them when they go out in the world. That day they had to witness a piece of darkness. While they’re not aware of it at all really (maybe Lucy a little), a little bit of their innocence was stolen that day. I feel sad that they saw a scrap of the truth of the world they live in. There are mean, desperate people out there. There is a lingering sadness in the air. But when we come upon these acts, we remember to take care of each other, we take precaution, there are always people who will help. We find comfort in the helpers and in loved ones to help us continue to see the good. The good that we must continue to believe will always overpower the bad.