Kate’s Marriage Tips

To celebrate our success of surviving one year of marriage, Zach and I jetted off to Cancun, Mexico for a long weekend in the beginning of December. It was a beautiful getaway and something I think we needed, just the two of us, away for the weekend, with time to laugh and reflect. A few days after we got back, I was on Facebook (surprise, surprise) and I saw a friend posted a picture of a list of tips from a 1950s home economics book. The tips were how to look after your husband. Read below:

Tips to look after your husband (1950s)

–Have Dinner Ready
Have dinner hot and on the table by the time your husband gets home. This is a way to let him know you’ve been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

–Prepare yourself
Give yourself 15 minutes of rest so you can be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup and put a ribbon in your hair. Be interesting.

–Clear away the clutter
Clear away the clutter and run a duster over everything.

–Prepare the children
Wash the children’s hands and faces and comb their hair. They are treasures and he wants them to play the part.

–Minimize all noise
Eliminate all noise, tell the children to be quiet, be happy to see him.

–Some don’ts:
Don’t greet him with problems or complaints, don’t complain if he’s late for dinner.

–Make him comfortable
Suggest he lie down or sit in a chair. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange a pillow for him, talk in a soothing voice.

–Listen to him
You may have a lot to tell him, but the moment of arrival is not the time.

–Make the evening his
Never complain if he doesn’t want to take you out to dinner or other entertainment. Understand his world of strain and pressure.

–The goal
Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself body and spirit.

I got a good laugh from reading this list. I literally LOL’d. Can you imagine telling women of today to follow these rules? After one year of marriage under my belt, I think I have the knowledge to adapt these rules for 2016.

Kate’s Tips for looking after your Husband – 2016

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–Have Dinner Ready
In today’s society, when both members of the household are working, it’s tough to get home and have dinner ready before the other gets home. If you are both coming home from a long day, share the responsibility of making dinner. I am no iron chef and can’t come up with many creative dishes. But Zach is good like that, so we often cook together. And by together I mean I say he let’s have this and he makes it. Don’t make it a burden on each other. Make a mutual decision as to what you want and share the duties. After a long day, something as ordinary as making dinner can seem like an annoying chore. If you can’t decide, then order out. In the beginning of the week, try to plan out what you think you might want to have and get the food in then. You could draw straws and whoever draws the short one makes dinner. Or take the long way home to ensure he gets home first so he starts dinner before you get there. Not saying I’ve ever done that…

–Prepare yourself and clear away clutter
If you arrive home before your husband, sure you can tidy up the house and make yourself look nice. That’s a fun surprise on occasion. But after wearing makeup all day and work clothes, it’s nice to feel like you can unwind. Throw on your favorite sweat pants and t-shirt. They shouldn’t expect you to be dressed to the nines all the time. That’s a great thing about being married, your spouse loves you even when you’ve given up and put on sweatpants.

–Prepare the children
If you have children and you’ve been home with them all day, let them shower their father with love when he arrives and you can sneak off and have chocolate and sit on the sofa. If you both work and the children have a babysitter or go to daycare, muster some energy and be excited to see your spawn. They’ve missed you all day. Let them run around in their diapers and throw their spaghetti around. Have a dance party after dinner.

–Minimize all noise? I say crank it up
I believe in an exciting homecoming. When your man walks in the door greet him with a smile and a hug. I know it’s hard to smile if you have had a stressful day. We’ve all had to force ourselves to leave work at work, but try to do just that. Leave work at work. Play some music while you make dinner or put on a recorded episode of something. No need for the home to be a somber environment. You want your spouse to be excited to walk in each night. They’ve been working all day and may have been hunting Pokémon on their travels home. Make coming home the highlight of their day and yours.

–The Don’ts? How about the dos
As for the don’ts they suggested, make those into dos. DO tell your spouse about your day. Complain about the crazy person down the hall who bothers you. Regale him with the tale of how you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe all afternoon or how you missed a booger that was hanging from your nose. Contrary to popular belief, he wants to hear this nonsense. At least he’ll act like he wants to hear the nonsense. But make sure to in turn listen to his problems and complaints. Marriage avenue is a two way street.


–Make him comfortable
Obviously you want your spouse to be comfortable when he arrives home. No need to remove his shoes for him and prepare him a drink though. He’s a big boy. He can do those things. Let him unwind and check his fantasy sports scores, but insist he give more time to reality. And what’s up with talking in a soothing voice? Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. If you don’t have a soothing voice, don’t change it.

–Listen to him and make the evening his
Yes, listen to him as I said above. He has problems just like you do, even if they seem insignificant. Like he tried to catch a Pichu on Pokémon but he ran away. That’s tough for him, so try to understand. But don’t make the evening his, make the evening both of yours. This is your time together after a long day.  Make a mutual effort to go out to dinner once and a while or go see a movie or show. Make sure you do things that you like to do such as go for a walk and talk about feelings. Or do things he likes to do like hunt Pokémon or watch a meaningless game that he has no affiliation to whatsoever but still insists he’s a huge fan.

–The Goal
In the 1950s, the ultimate goal was to “try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself body and spirit.” Fair point. But a home should not be somber as I said. It is not just HIS temple. It is both of yours. For me, the ultimate goal is try to make your home a place of joy and relaxation where both you, your husband, and any other creatures in the house, can be your wild and crazy selves.

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