A story of sorts, this is a reflection I wrote while sitting in a park in Chestnut Hill. My attempt to be “deep” in a sense.

 

As I sit here, beneath the green leaves of the forest, I wonder.

I wonder why it is that I am here.

Why, of all places, have I ended up here?

I am in complete solitude among the trees and the birds that inhabit them.

For a person who prefers company, why do I sneak away to be alone?

I could be hundreds of places, with hundreds of people.

But I have no desire to see others.

No desire to make connections.

I simply want to be alone.

Other people wouldn’t understand.

One can try and explain, explain this yearning for silence.

But it never comes off right.

It comes off sad and depressing.

Nobody wants to hear sad and depressing things.

They want to slap on a smile and force a fake happiness that they think they are supposed to be experiencing.

But in reality, they are sad too, they are unsure and afraid.

We all are. But it is taboo to feel that way. There are doctors and drugs to fix it and fill us with a fake happiness so we are just like everybody else.

What they can’t accept is, having the feeling of wanting to be alone can be beautiful.

To want to be alone with one’s thoughts.

To reset ourselves, and reevaluate what it means to be real.

To be brave enough to sit alone in a world that banishes solitude.

A world where people are constantly connected at every moment of every day.

Solitude and silence no longer exist.

To search for them is often a fruitless endeavor.

We forget what it is to think on our own, for we have so many devices to think for us.

A constant connection and blast of information blurs lines of what it really means to connect with each other.

Does anyone have a real connection anymore?

Does anyone care enough to put everything down and focus on one conversation? Does anyone spend the time to ask questions and actually care about the answers that are given?

No.

We have forgotten how to do all of this.

We have forgotten what matters.

With the progression of time, this disconnect will only increase, unless we re-teach ourselves how to be human.