Well, it’s six months until I vaKate the name Sprandio. I’ll be going from the end of the alphabet to the beginning, from an eight letter last name to a four letter last name. Plus side is, my signature will be shorter.
The name change is one thing I’m looking forward to, but I also feel weird about it. I’ll obviously still be me. I won’t change as a person. Strangely enough, one of the reasons my lovely significant other wants to marry me is because I can be myself. But I won’t be known as Kate Sprandio anymore. I’ll be Kate Ells. Hopefully I can rock Kate Ells the way I rocked Kate Sprandio. The name change is one thing, but I’ll also be taking on yet another new title.
As we grow up, we take on so many different titles. Daughter, son, brother, sister, friend, cousin, etc. Personally, I’ve taken on many titles: daughter, sister, friend, aunt, cousin, niece, girlfriend, coworker, writer, runner, student, and the list continues.
On December 4th, I’ll be adding a title I’ve never held and, honestly, one I used to be unsure I would ever have. I’ll be taking on the title of wife.
Wife sounds so grown up and real. I’ve been thinking a lot about what being a wife actually means. The obvious things: I’ll be living with a man that isn’t one of my brothers. I’ve lived my entire life with my brothers. Even when I moved out of my parents’ house for a few years, I lived with my brothers. I’ll be taking on more responsibilities such as: laundry, keeping a clean house, cooking. My mom has told me recently that one important thing I need to learn before getting married is how to clean a toilet. Apparently, I’m not all that good at it. So I’ll practice on some toilets before December. When it comes to cooking, I have a few signature dishes that I’ve made but my knowledge is limited. My dad often will say, “Come here Kathryn, and let me introduce you to the kitchen. This is a stove.” I’m really not that bad. But these are the essential “wifely duties” that I’ll be taking on. My fiancé is pretty good about helping with things, so I really can’t say I’ll be doing these types of things myself. He’s a good cook too, so I’ll be able to learn a few things. I already do my own laundry so that’s not a problem. I do know my fiancé and I fold shirts differently, so that’ll be interesting.
The bigger more serious responsibilities of being a wife are the ones I am concentrating on being awesome at. Loving my husband unconditionally, being there to support him in every endeavor and situation, even if I don’t feel strong enough to do so. Allowing him to support me, which I think is a big one. I can sometimes be the kind of person that doesn’t like to ask for help. I have learned while being in a relationship, one needs to learn to lean on the other.
Compromise. From what I have heard from my parents and other married couples, compromise is a big one. To be a good wife, I need to be able to discuss issues with my husband and if we don’t agree, we need to work it out to come to a consensus. I’ve learned this through the three years that we’ve been together, but I think I could still learn more about how to be more open.
Communication. I hope to be able to communicate my feelings and concerns, even if it’s hard or I know he won’t agree with what I have to say. A good wife or any sort of companion needs to feel comfortable to express how they are feeling. I’m big on feelings. I love talking about feelings. Ask my fiancé. I’ve said a few times before, “let’s talk about our feelings.” I mostly do it to make him feel awkward. I guess that’s a mean wife thing to do.
One interesting thing about my situation is, my fiancé isn’t from Pennsylvania. I am the only one in my family who is marrying a person from out of state. I love this fact. I’ve always tried to be a little different than my brothers. Being the only girl, I try to stand out among the boys. And I’m the only one with an out of state mate. When you get married, you need to learn to welcome your spouse’s family and accommodate them. I have different responsibilities than my brothers because Zach and I will need to travel to our family events. We both need to make an effort to support each other and our families. Family is very important to us both, which is awesome. I hope, as a wife, I can be successful in accommodating everyone.
It’s been an interesting journey falling in love. When we first met, I just thought I met a nice adorable guy who seemed fun. I didn’t think at the time, this is going to be my husband. But I do say though that when we first met it was a different feeling than other boys I had met. I truly had this feeling that I needed to get to know him. And here I am. Six months away from becoming Mrs. Zachary Ells. Sometimes I want to shout holy shit I’m getting married, but that’s inappropriate. (sorry for cursing mom).
The decision to say yes to spend the rest of my life with Zach is pretty much the biggest decision I’ve ever made. I see it as only the beginning of many more big decisions. I’ve discovered love is a wonderful, scary, on going decision-making process. Zach and I wake up every day and make the decision to continue loving each other and we will do so every day forever. It’s the best decision I make all day. While some days we might not like each other or we really tick each other off, those days happen to everyone, we will always love each other. It’s really cool. I know cool sounds like a small word to describe it, but I can’t even begin to come up with another word. It’s just really, really cool.
As with all things in life, this will be an exciting, challenging learning experience. And it already has been. It’s a fun feeling, wanting to be the best I can be for him. He incites in me this desire to be the ultimate Kate I can be. Even when we first started dating, anything we did, I wanted to be the best for him. I wanted to be unlike any person he has ever met. I think I’ve done a good job at that. Interesting question, is it still called dating when you’re engaged? I guess so. The logical thing to me would be to call it engaging. We were dating, now we’re engaging, but that just sounds awkward.
Those are only a few of my ideas on what I hope to accomplish as I first start out as a wife. I want to be the best at it. Obviously, there will be times when I am unsure of what to say or do, but I look forward to those times as well. I look forward to learning my new title in life. I so very much look forward to simply being a wife to my husband.
Kate Sprandio: daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, girlfriend, fiance….
Kate Ells: everything Kate Sprandio was + WIFE.