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Motherhood: A Poem

6am I hear him wailing.He had been sleeping later for a couple weeks.But that suddenly changed.It’s frustrating when babies slip into different phases without warning.I roll over to check the monitor.He’s standing up. I glance at my husband, sound asleep. I blow my breath loud to see if he stirs. Nothing wakes him.I pull myself […]

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Postpartum in a Pandemic Pt. 2

Saturday, December 19th All the tears that I felt I couldn’t release over the last few months surged to the surface. I questioned him, hoping there could be a chance it was a false positive. He assured me that false positives are very rare, plus he had symptoms. They came on hard and fast. He […]

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Postpartum in a Pandemic – pt.1

I’ve wanted to sit down and write for a while now, but I wanted to be in the right head space to do it. Tonight, as I was taking my evening bath to wash off the smell of spit-up, I realized that I have a 2 year-old, a 7 month old, and I’m living through […]

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Zachary Morris Ells Jr.

On the night of May 27th, we put our Lucy girl to bed for the last time before we became a family of four. My parents arrived to stay the night. They wished us well and we said a teary goodbye. We opened the garage and our neighbors cheered for us. Zach honked the horn […]

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Focusing on Certainty in an Uncertain Time

I found out I was pregnant again in September. I called the doctor the next day and requested I have a blood test.The results came back and the numbers were good. Pregnancy number 4 was underway. This is considered my 4th pregnancy because of the miscarriages. I inquired about whether I should take progesterone again […]

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A Year in Review

Hello, all. It’s been a while. I wanted to do a recap of Lucy’s first year and have it ready by her 1st birthday, but here we are. Seventeen months have gone by. Better late than never. October 24th, 2019 Lucy turned one! Fastest year of my life. Fastest, happiest, scariest, most emotional, most rewarding […]

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Nelly

Fourteen years ago this September, I met one of the kindest souls I have ever known. With her striking green eyes, she had the power to draw you into her world of simplicity. She became a constant in my life and the lives of my family and friends. She didn’t ask for much, just companionship. […]

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Do not be afraid, we are with you

I had wanted to include this story with my previous post, but I felt like it needed its own spotlight. It was late afternoon a few weeks ago and Lucy was being crabby about going down for a nap. It had been a long, dreary day already, so I decided to take her for a […]

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Rejuvenation

After all the craziness of the first couple months of Lucy’s life, we began plans to get her baptized. We picked a date, we picked Godparents, and we got the paperwork in. With all the planning of the event, the true meaning of it all got lost. In terms of the actual sacrament, my immediate […]

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3 Months In

At least a few times a week, I will look at Lucy and say, “I can’t believe I pushed you out of my body.” She’ll smile at me and drool all over herself. I say, “No, really, you were in my belly and I pushed you out. How did I do that?” Her little face […]

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