The more I take the 3 kids out alone, the more confident I become. I have learned though, it’s important to not let that confidence go to my head.

Our first time out together at the mall was a doozy. I detailed that in my post Life with Three.

One day back in early June, I decided to take the kids to the Arboretum. Open fields, flowers, ponds. Perfect environment for them to run out their energy. It was also a super sunny day. Of course, I didn’t have any sunscreen. I hadn’t stocked up for the season yet. I decided on our way there, I would stop by Walgreens to pick up sunscreen and grab my blood pressure medicine. Kill two birds with one stone. My medicine had been ready for 4 days and I of course didn’t put aside time to get it.

I had the double stroller in the trunk, but figured I wouldn’t need it. I would carry Peter and the big two could walk. I knew where everything was in the store. I had the route planned out in my head. I would hit the sunscreen aisle, and pay for that at the pharmacy with my medicine and off we would go. Quick and easy.

I got them out of the car, propped Peter on my hip, and told Lucy and Zach to hold hands. We made it across the parking lot without a hitch and entered the store. 

We got to the sunscreen aisle, which of course had a display of toy cars.

“OOOO I WANT ONE,” Zachary shouted. 

I can’t remember what I said but I somehow talked him down. I grabbed the sunscreen.

“OOO SUNSCREAM!”

We walked to the back of the store to the Pharmacy to wait in line. The big two kept each other occupied. Peter was amused watching the people. Almost in the clear.

We got to the counter and purchased the sunscreen and my medicine.

The cashier smiled at Lucy and Zachary. “Would you two like a lollipop?”

“YES,” they shouted. 

She took out a bucket of “Dum Dums” and let them choose.

“Just take one please,” I said to them.

They each took one and said thank you.

That was easy.

We left the pharmacy section and were just about to exit the automatic doors when Zachary realized he wanted two.

“I WANT TWO! I WANT TWO LOLLIPOPS!” He shouted so loudly. He threw himself on the floor. He kicked and screamed full force. 

OMG no. How “dum dum” of me to think we’d make it out easy.

“Let’s go,” I said through my teeth. “You have one and that’s it.”

With Peter on my hip, I grabbed Zach by the arm. I tried to lift him. It’s amazing how strong toddlers are when they want to be. Lucy walked alongside of us in silence. 

“Please. Please just walk.”

“Come on, Zachary. WE have to go,” Lucy reiterated. Poor little Zach. He has two Mothers.

I dragged Zachary out of the store. I had no choice. He wouldn’t stand up. His shoes made a sound as they scraped across the rubber mat. We made it out of the doors and he laid down on the curb next to the parking lot. It was of course 1000 degrees outside.

“Get up. Get up right now and grab Lucy’s hand.” I was crouched down with Peter on my hip. Sweat beaded along my forehead.

I talked sternly, trying not to yell and look like a crazy person. Peter started to cry.

“You are making Peter cry, Zachary. Get up right now.” 

“GET UP, ZACHARY,” Lucy shouted.

“Lucy, I will handle him. Please stop.”

“I WANT TWO. I WANT TWO LOLLIPOPS,” he screamed from his red, tear covered face.

I could see our car. If I could just get him to the car. God help me.

“Are you okay?”

I looked up and an elderly woman stood next to me. 

“I think so,” I replied. I was obviously hot and bothered for more reasons than just the weather.

“Would you like me to hold the baby, dear? I know what this is like. It’s hard with little ones.”

I wanted to sob in her arms. It was so sweet of her to ask if I was okay and needed help. I feel like a lot of people’s reactions are to stare and walk past a screaming toddler situation. I myself have done that.

Zachary noticed her and got scared. He jumped to his feet and grabbed my leg.

“I think I’ll be okay. I got him now. Thank you so much,” I said to the woman. 

I grabbed Zach’s arm and we made it back to the car. I buckled everyone in and cried a little in the front seat. Who did I think I was? I can’t do this. Going into the store with 3 kids. I’m a total failure. I have no control. I let all of the negativity run through my brain. The crazy thoughts I have when chaos ensues. I let it all run through me. When I felt better, I tried to explain to Zachary that he cannot do that to me when we’re in a parking lot. He answered, “Oh, okay.” Of course he decided to be totally calm in the car, like I wasn’t JUST dragging him across the floor in a convenience store.

I can’t blame him. He just turned 3. He has a lot of feelings going on inside his little body, which don’t always mesh well with all the feelings going on inside of my postpartum body. I knew the explanation was probably pointless, but I tried anyway. It was also my fault. Why the heck did I think I could take all 3 in a store without putting Peter in a stroller?? I knew better. As Mothers do, I took some deep breaths and got on with it. We had a plan for the morning and by God we were going through with it. The Arboretum trip ended up being a successful and tantrum free adventure. We all napped when we got home. 

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A couple weeks after the Walgreens fiasco, we went to the shore for the weekend. Our 2nd night there, Lucy was up all night coughing. It was like 6 hours off and on of this crazy cough. I slept with her that night to try and help calm her. It was insane. I was running on fumes the next morning.

After some time on the beach, I decided to go to CVS to get her some cough medicine. I left Zachary with big Zach and my family on the beach. 

I took Peter and Lucy. 

We arrived 20minutes later at CVS and Lucy was still coughing bad. I opened the door to take Peter out and he was fast asleep. Shit. I didn’t have the stroller. I should have brought the stroller and he could have kept sleeping.

Oh, well. It was going to be a quick trip. Famous last thoughts.

I took him out and he went back to sleep on my shoulder.

I held Lucy’s hand and I walked as fast as I could to the cold and flu aisle. Lucy was in the throes of a crazy coughing fit. She could not stop. She sounded awful. I whispered to her to cover her mouth. Peter started to grumble on my shoulder. He looked like a drunk old man coming to. 

“It’s okay, Peter. Shhh.”

I grabbed the cough medicine and raced to the self check out machine. Okay, just needed to buy it and get out. Self check out is always fast.

I scanned the medicine. 

“Please wait for assistance. Valid ID needed for purchase.”

Oh, my God, come on. Why do we live in a country where kids get drunk and high off cold medicine?! If I didn’t have to wait, we would have made it out in time.

As the machine finished saying wait for assistance, Lucy coughed so hard she vomited. She vomited on part of the screen, the table that holds the products, the floor and her shoes. She had eaten a red popsicle about 30 minutes prior so it was all red. 

Oh my, assistance was really needed now. 

I had no wipes or tissues on me. I had Peter on my hip and a small wallet. I wanted to lay down and cry. Why didn’t I bring the damn stroller? If I had the stroller, I would have the pack of wipes that I kept in the basket of the stroller!!

The line of people at regular check out stared. It looked like a row of bobbleheads, eyes wide and heads shaking.

To add insult to injury, Lucy started to shout, “Mommy, I threw up blood. Mommy, I threw up blood!” OMG these people are going to think she’s seriously ill. 

“Lucy, it’s okay. It’s not blood. You had a popsicle, remember? A red popsicle.” 

“Oh, yeah,” she said through tears. “I’m so sorry I threw up, Mommy!”

“It’s okay, Lucy. It’s okay. We’re going to have to clean this up.”

The woman who came to check my ID saw the situation and ran to grab a roll of paper towels. I don’t know what I expected her to say or do, but I was thanking God she was so very kind.

She had a smirk on her face. “Don’t worry, honey. I have kids. I know what it’s like.”

She knew what it’s like. It was like the lady in the Walgreens parking lot. Thank God I had these encounters with women who knew what it’s like.

She helped me clean it all up and I thanked her profusely. I ran out of there as fast as I could. I felt terrible about all of it. Poor Lucy was embarrassed. It wasn’t her fault, it was mine. 

Again, this could have been handled better if I had just had the stroller. I have 3 kids aged 4, 3, and 1. I don’t just “run” into the store anymore. I learned this the hard way. I also learned that I need to be more thoughtful of Moms going through it. If I see someone struggling, it doesn’t hurt to ask if they need help.

Okay, I get it universe. From now on, I’ll always bring the damn stroller.